One of the many lovely perks of working for a Jewish agency is that you get a lot of holidays off that most people (including many Jews) have never heard of. This past Monday and Tuesday was one such example, and as fate would have it I get NEXT Monday and Tuesday off as well!
So how does one celebrate having two 4-day weekends in a row?
Well I mean there’s holidays and something, but I mean really celebrate! How to make this day different because you get a day to do whatever you want and your wife and all your friends have to go to work?
This past weekend I destroyed myself, but that’s another story for another time.
Next week, the experiment begins.
We recently watched “Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead” on Netflix some weeks back and the wifey and I have been juicing for breakfast for about a month now. It’s been a slight adjustment, but as I have four days to properly test myself I have decided that I will attempt a juice fast.
I know what you’re thinking: “Steven! You’re a picture of health! Why a juice fast?”
Simply put it looks like one of those things that could only help. If it works, great! If it doesn’t, no harm no foul and I go back to my decadent lifestyle of booze and red meat. My goal is less about detoxing or any kind of holistic hooplah, but just a cleansing kinda health and energy boost.
“But Steven! Why do this on your extended weekend?”
From what I’ve read, the first four days are rough and I’d rather not have to worry about violence towards my co-workers. Plus it’ll help me gauge just how much juice I will need to get through a workday since I’ll have to prepare it at home each morning.
“But Steven! Is four days enough to make a difference?”
Honestly? Probably not, but if I’m still alive come Wednesday I don’t see why I shouldn’t keep going. Most articles I’ve read recommend a 10-14 day fast for effectiveness (the crazy-ass Aussie from the movie juice fasted for 60 days), so I’m aiming for 10 if 4 doesn’t kill me first.
“But Steven! What about your wife? Will she juice fast as well?”
Hah. No. I want to live through this, remember?
“But Steven! Do you have the faintest idea what you’re doing?”
Not in the least, but that’s never stopped me before.
I’ve tried some other diets and exercise plans and whatnot, but what makes this one a bit more hopeful for me is it’s binary simplicity: Only juice. Nothing fancy, no limits to how much you can drink, and no complicated charts or formulas for what you can or cannot eat. Juice, water, air, and sleep. There’s nothing logically that can be unhealthy about this, as long as I don’t go anemic from lack of iron or my body cannibalizes my muscles for protein.
Or the world blows up. That too.
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